Letter to a High Schooler

Dear Sweet Girl, 

There are so many things that I wish we had the opportunity to talk about together. You are in the midst of what I think is the hardest stage of life. For me, from 10^th grade through the first year of college was the hardest. They were the hardest because I had no idea who I was, although I definitely thought I did. All I wanted was to be loved, to be happy and to be accepted. I thought I found love… over and over in broken, unhealthy relationships. I thought I was happy, by partying and hanging out with people who I thought were my friends. I thought I was accepted, until friendships broke down and I graduated high school with one friend left. Life is hard, high school is hard, and then the first year of college was hard too. But mean while, I thought I was having the time of my life. I didn’t even realize I was miserable. Then things changed, I started to realize who I was, how to find joy in living, and that there was a greater purpose for my life.

For my whole life I ran away from Jesus. I didn’t do it on purpose; I didn’t even know that I was doing it. I was claiming to be Catholic, but at the same time I was acting however I wanted, whenever I wanted by doing whatever I wanted. I felt empty, unfulfilled and purposeless, but I didn’t even realize that at the time. The instant that I turned toward Jesus, I was 18; my entire life began to make sense. I felt peace, love, and joy that were different, deeper, and so much more real than anything I had ever experienced before. I started to understand that God created me, He loves me, He knows me in every way, He wants the best for me, and He is always there waiting for me when I turn away from Him. In choosing to do what He wants for my life, ever since that day, my life has been infinitely better and more fulfilling in every way. 

I hope you can sooner realize the same things that it took me until my second year in college to see for myself. God created you. He saw the oceans, the mountains, the flowers, and the animals, all of human existence… and then He thought the world needed Y O U.  He loves you unconditionally, He waits for you to come to Him, and He wants to fulfill the deepest desires of your heart. He wants to accept you, He wants to love you, He wants you to bring all your brokenness and pain to Him so He can heal you and make you new. It may not be now, next week, next year, or the year after, but whenever you go to Jesus, He will be already there ready to walk with you through all the days of your life.

It’s okay to struggle with God; I don’t know anyone who hasn’t. It’s okay to question Him sometimes and to question your faith. I think it can be a good thing, as long as you truly question by asking those questions. If life takes over, the world, the media, society, if those things lead us to doubting God and then we don’t truly go in search of the answers to those hard questions, we will never give ourselves the opportunity to find the truth and grow closer to Him.

Sweet girl, you are beautiful, you are loved, you are kind, and because you’re a part of this crazy world, we have all been changed for the better. When I say you’re beautiful, I don’t just mean you have killer hair and makeup – which of course you do and one day you’ll teach me – but what I mean is that your heart is beautiful and your soul is beautiful. Your dignity and value is not based on the things you do, mistakes you make, or on your successful accomplishments. Your dignity and value comes from the truth that you are a daughter of the King, our Lord. You are infinitely worthy of the most pure and beautiful love, and respect. You are completely unique, one of a kind, and irreplaceable. Do you realize that? There has never been anyone like you, and there will never be another Y O U in all of human history. No one could ever replace you, repeat you, or erase you. The things that make you different, make you stand out, make you unique, God made you that way with a purpose, so that you can use your specific gifts and talents to set this world on fire.

I love you and always will. 

Love + Prayers, M

Havana // Cuba

Three weeks ago I set off on an adventure I'd never dreamed of

Cuba has never been on my list

because of the embargo, and the restrictions on travel,

it just hadn't been a place I considered

Our group was 10 of us

Our trip leader, Rose Marie, and her 12 year old son Matthew

Myself, and 8 other young adults

None of us had been to Cuba before

Some with Cuban heritage, others just along for the adventure

Saturday, September 19th // My 22nd Birthday

We arrived in Cuba at 9am

We spent the day exploring Havana-- what a gorgeous city

It reminded me of Italy; so European, so colonial 

The city was right on the ocean

That made it even more beautiful 

We waited street side for two hours for Pope Francis' motorcade

Unfortunately I had a momentary lapse in judgement

I tried to video tape/ take photos on my phone as he drove by

Because of that, I missed actually experiencing the moment

It was still amazing

I was 10 feet away from Pope Francis in his Popemobile

On my 22nd birthday! What a way to spend it

I learned after that to put my phone down & experience these special moments

We also went to mass with Archbishop Wienski of Miami

My first bilingual mass 

very beautiful in a stunning Cuban cathedral 

Sunday, September 22nd // A Day To Remember

WE WENT TO MASS WITH POPE FRANCIS

if there were ever a time in my life where I wish I spoke spanish...

this was that day

It honestly didn't matter that I couldn't understand the words

Language barriers are no match for the Holy Spirit

Jesus was there

Pope Francis was there

300,000+ Cubans were there

I was there

To know that most of these people had never experience a mass before

had never heard the word of God before 

never had the opportunity to learn about our Christian faith

and now... 

the amount of faith, hope and love that was instilled in all of Cuba

absolutely incredible

I didn't even need to understand the words

I could feel it

After mass, we went to the place where the Pope would address the young people

We parked ourselves there all day to make sure we had a spot

After about 4 hours with 2 still left to go-- I decided to make my way to the front

It was hot, I was tired

There were 5,000 young adults sweating all over me

for a quick minute I forgot why I was there

I was consumed with agitation and annoyances 

but Jesus quickly reminded me

I was there for Him

and as soon as Pope Francis came out in front of these young people

The excitement in them was so powerful

He spoke with such enthusiasm and passion

They responded with even more passion

I cried most of that hour

because when the Holy Spirit changes lives, you can feel it

I love my Cuban brothers and sisters

I'm honored I was able to experience those moments with them

Monday, September 21st // The Journey Home

Our last day in Cuba

We spent mass with the Cardinal of Boston

St. Teresa of Avila 

Usually this church is not opened to the public

It was a special privilege that we were able to pray there during our trip

It is the home of the Carmelite Discalced Sisters 

A group of cloistered nuns who have dedicated their lives to poverty and prayer 

Generally people don't have the opportunity to meet them

or to pray with them

or to hear their angelic singing voices

We got to do all of those things

I love learning about and seeing how people love God in different ways

I find consecrated life fascinating and beautiful

This was a short, yet jam-packed with the Holy Spirit, weekend

Each moment is one I will always treasure

My favorite moment {if I had to choose}

was distributing over 400 rosaries

It was a bit overwhelming, honestly

Once people realized we were handing them out, we just about got mobbed 

People grabbing at us and the rosaries from every direction

Lack of planning on our part... the rosaries were all tangled together

so everyone was grabbing and no one was getting anywhere

somehow they got distributed

but it was humbling to recognize that in the craziness was desperation

these people were so desperate

desperate for a rosary

desperate for Jesus

In Cuba they don't have the option of going to a store and buying a rosary or cross

They only just got the internet in January this year..

Us being able to provide them with a new way to pray in such a powerful way,

I am so thankful

Their faith is childlike, raw and without doubt

They've inspired me to continue spreading the Good News

Thank you Cuba

Lost & Found

Friday, April 3, 2015

Kasia is found

I don't know the details but I know her body has been found

She'd been missing for 8 days 

Now family and loved ones can truly start to morn

Kasia was found on Good Friday

It is a day of sorrow and of joy

a day of endings and new beginnings

It was on this day that Christ died for us

the passion of Christ on the cross

Such a tragic and painful time to reflect on

and yet full of hope

for our sins are forgiven & Christ will rise

Today those emotions are made even more real

Sadness & joy

Pain & hope 

Endings & Beginnings

Kasia is gone

and people can start to have closure now

Her body is found

This horrible accident is beyond understanding

it is heartbreaking and painful

At the same time there is a sense of hope & joy

our plans to travel to visit each other in Poland and Florida no longer exist

As hard as it is knowing I won't see Kasia again here on Earth

I have peace in my heart knowing that Kasia's body is found

She is no longer lost

I have confidence in her faith

I pray she's resting happily with Jesus

God willing, I will see her again

I can just picture Kasia 

running around joyfully in Heaven with Jesus and our loved ones

it's one of the happiest things I could ever imagine

Young, beautiful, faithful lives being cut short 

that is something I will never understand

but I trust that His plan is greater

She is found

Her body can now be laid to rest 

Her soul is rejoicing eternally

PRAYERS NEEDED // Kasia Parzysz

February 15, 2015 // St. Ann's Catholic Church // Pokhara, Nepal

I was sitting in the front row during my first Nepali mass

I didn't see many people because they were behind me

The first time I turned around was during the peace offering

Kasia was the first person I saw

She was sitting on the other side of the tiny church room 

With a huge smile on her face, we offered peace to each other

& I immediately knew it was the beginning of an incredible friendship

At the first moment we met & offered peace, I knew we were both thinking the same thing

 I was so happy to meet another Catholic westerner 

in a country where less than 10% of the people are Christians

After mass we started talking 

we shared a taxi back to lakeside where we both were living 

She told me all about her journey

moving to Nepal 6 months earlier to manage the building of a new hotel across the lake

Kasia is one of the fastest friends I've ever made

I was instantly drawn to her friendly demeanor and warm personality

For the next six weeks I was so excited for Sunday mass each week 

especially to see Kasia and catch up on our weeks 

Her presence during mass was so deep & reflective 

her connection with Jesus was almost tangible

We got to talking about how hard it is to feel connected to Jesus 

and to our faith while living in Nepal 

where hardly anyone shares the same belief system

I was so thankful to find someone to be in community with during my time there

One of my favorite moments with Kasia was on our last Sunday together

I was standing on the highway waiting for a taxi

On a road where taxis zoom by every other second, there seemed to be none that day

Finally after waiting what felt like 10 minutes but was probably only 2

I saw the first taxi going in the direction I needed to go

I flagged them down & they stopped for me

I realized Kasia was already in the back seat headed to St. Ann's!

That is some God-perfect timing!

I had been away trekking Annapurna Base Camp
so we had loads to catch up on

We spent every moment of that ride to mass catching up

on everything we had missed the past two weeks

I loved sharing my stories with her

I loved hearing stories of the ways they had to transport a generator across the lake

On my last night in Pokhara

Kasia met us at the Old Blues Bar
to listen to The Wave Band and dance the night away

We had the best time!

I am so beyond grateful to have spent that night with her
We made plans:
I would go visit her in Poland
She would come visit me in Florida
I was so excited!

March 26, 2015 // Evening // Phewa Lake, Pokhara, Nepal

Kasia and some others were crossing the lake by boat

a massive storm ripped across the lake

their boat sank

Kasia went missing.

The three others on board barely made it to shore

they are safe

Kasia is still missing. 

I am sitting here now, on the other side of the world.
Life is supposed to go on as normal
How can anything be normal?
nothing is normal right now
I feel so helpless
I am so far away, I can't do anything to help
All I can do is pray
I don't think I've ever prayed so hard in my life.
I wish I could be there
I wish I could search for her
How is she missing?
I don't understand how this scary, horrible, tragic, freak thing has happened
I can't believe this is happening
All I can do is pray
Please pray with me
Don't stop

Nepali Notes

I love Asia

The culture fascinates me and draws me in

unlike any other place in the world

I have only traveled to Thailand and Nepal in Asia

but I am so in love with these two countries!

Things that I have been struck by thus far

Mostly while I people watched for 7 hours on a bus from Kathmandu to Pokhara --

(I'm only a few days in to this 6 week adventure) 

• Kathmandu, the capital and largest city in Nepal, is incredibly polluted, filled with human waste, garbage, cremated bodies in the river and so much more... yet everything about it seems beautiful to me (not the waste/garbage part, but the people and their lives) 

• It occurred to me that the reason there is so much garbage everywhere, and I mean EVERYWHERE, is because there is no garbage system. It is not a polluted city because people are too lazy to find a trash can... there are NO trash cans! There are no garbage trucks to take trash from people's homes. There are no landfills or dumps to drop off trash. They simply throw it outside; they sweep it into the rivers, streets, parks, or anywhere they can find. It amazes me the amount of time they spend sweeping trash away from their store fronts or home porches, just to move the trash somewhere else and continue a never ending cycle of dirt.

• It seems that most people don’t have running water, as I observed family after family using the public water system on the street to brush their teeth, wash their face or bathe their children. There is a type of hose-like-water stream that is in front of most homes/store fronts that people were using. They also used this water system to wash their dishes and fill buckets for cooking and cleaning. There are also “water fountain” type public water systems for filling bottles and washing clothing.

• I will never complain about doing laundry again. Not only do they hand dry their clothes on a clothing line which I have grown accustom to while traveling to different countries, but everyone washes everything in this public water fountain system. There are many fountains along the road. Basically, a family will take all the clothes, dip them in a bucket of soapy water, lay them on the ground, stroke them with a stone or hard brush to get the dirt out (while it’s laying on the dirty ground) & rinse in the “clean” water. They repeat that several times for each piece of clothing until they are satisfied, before hanging it to dry. 

• Electricity in Nepal, if people are wealthy enough to have it, only works sometimes. That doesn’t mean that people who forget to pay their bill don’t get to have electricity… that means the entire country only has electricity a few hours at a time every day and every night.

• EVERYONE is SO friendly! Every person I pass in the streets will form their hands as if in prayer, bow their heads and greet with “Namaste”. It is such a beautiful greeting, and I love saying hi to every friendly human in this country that I pass along the way. It may be because I’m white and blonde so I stand out but every child I meet/pass in the streets just stares at me. When I smile at them they get the biggest, most happy smile I’ve ever seen. I love friendly Nepali people.

• School is so different. The teachers smack the kids ALL THE TIME, it’s no wonder that the kids then go and smack each other all day long. I think the teachers would get arrested in the States if they did the same thing they do here. Sometimes (all the time), teachers just don’t show up to school. There are no substitutes. Therefore there will either be a class filled with children and no one to look after them, or the children will just not have school until the teacher returns. There are also SO MANY holidays. I suppose because they worship so many gods and each god has their own holiday. Tomorrow is Shiva’s Day…which lasts for the next 5 days apparently, so no school until Sunday.

It is very cheap

 it is very beautiful

 it is extremely dirty

 it is full of so much life and love and culture. 

I can’t wait to grow and learn from these people; 

hopefully I can make a bit of a difference in their lives too.

The Good News // Arturo Miro

Today was a big day - massive in fact

A young man named Omar lives in Boquete, Panama

in a boys orphanage called Arturo Miro

He is 15 years old and has a heart full of love after today.

This whole week, the men in our volunteer group spent each day at Arturo Miro

they built a massive obstacle course for the boys

they built relationships 

and they spread the Good News of Jesus

they gave the boys sports games, backpacks, tasty treats, new shirts

and gave them each their own Bible.

This afternoon all the kids ran to explore & conquer their new obstacle course

Omar seemed to be deep in thought 

carrying his Bible around with him

One of our wonderful men started talking to him about Jesus

Omar wanted to know more and more.

He had been so hurt by his family, mostly by his parents

he had been abandoned as an orphan 

to grow up and live with no family

He was carrying with him an inconceivable amount of pain and anger

All he wanted to do was release that anger 

but he had no idea how to do that.

Lindsey & Kathy stepped up with their spanish skills

They explained to Omar about the peace, hope & love that is Jesus

He felt sorry for being a bad kid in the past

he was quickly assured that Jesus loves him no matter his past.

He wondered that if he knows Jesus...

will he see his grandparents who had passed away in Heaven? 

would he ever see his parents there? 

and how does all of this anger just go away? 

We stood around talking to him for quite awhile about the gift of forgiveness

about God's plan for all of our lives

for His plan for Omar's life

that everything happens in His perfect timing

about the peace that comes in trusting Jesus

about the love that He has for each of His children,

a love that exceeds all human understanding

and many other things that I didn't quite get because I can't speak spanish.

We prayed over Omar

Such a strong prayer - the Holy Spirit was so clear in that place

there were many tears of relief and joy

Omar's heart was so full and his desire to lift his burden ran deep

he could see and feel the love of Jesus in this place

HE ACCEPTED JESUS!!!! 

He was shocked

He was so overwhelmed with joy 

he could feel his burden lifted and peace flowing through him

How incredibly beautiful! 

I have never before witnessed a person come to accept Christ

It is a feeling that is bigger than this world 

it's God-big! 

I feel so honored to have been able to share in this moment

and pray for Omar's faith

He has a difficult road ahead of him 

he will be tested and fail

but Jesus is his savior and He can move mountains 

I will forever pray for my new brother in Christ

God bless you Omar, how blessed I am to be a witness to your journey!

Family Dive Adventures // Kids Sea Camp

Kids Sea Camp has been part of my life as long as I can remember

My mom provided the opportunity as publisher for Sport Diver Magazine

I started going when I was 6 years old

in Curacao

then Bonaire, Grand Cayman, Fiji, Honduras, Costa Rica & Belize

then Palau and Little Cayman

So many times at each location

every summer & some Thanksgiving breaks 

Each one teaching me new things about who I am and the underwater world

I started as a Sassy, ages 6-7

mini scuba gear, mini scuba tank, permanent flotation

endless fun for that age group

I moved up to Seal Team, ages 8-9

practicing with real, full sized scuba gear

in the pool and in confined/pool-like ocean areas 

Going 6-9ft under water with scuba gear on.. 

the absolute coolest thing for that age

I graduated with my Jr. Open Water certification, age 10 - Grand Cayman

then came Adventure Diver, specialties: Fish ID, Scooter, Underwater Photo

Advanced Open Water, age 16 - Belize

Rescue Diver, age 17 - Grand Cayman

Dive Master, age 18 - Grand Cayman

I've grown up with KSC, scuba diving & the Peyton family

Margo Peyton started Kids Sea Camp 14 years ago

She and her husband Tom & two kids, Rob & Jen, are like family

Through the years, we would plan with our camp friends where to go the following summer

and then hope our families would go along with our plans

Friends I made as a Sassy kid, I still keep in touch with and meet up with today.

People ask me what my favorite KSC location is

that is such a hard question to answer

My favorite camp memories are based on the friendships more than location

All of Kids Sea Camp's locations are so insanely beautiful, 

peaceful, fun, and full of life, 

not to mention incredible diving...

My favorite locations have been the ones with meaningful, wonderful, lasting connections

People from all over the country & world! 

Nebraska, Oklahoma, New Orleans, Ohio, California, Florida

Singapore, South Africa, Bermuda, England

and so many other awesome places

I can now visit these lovely new friends all over 

while traveling and exploring the world!

When I started college, three years ago 

I began working at Kids Sea Camp and fell in love with it even more

Having the opportunity to introduce young kids to scuba diving

 treasure hunts, pirate nights, island tours, beach days, boating excursions, 

donkey farms, iguana farms, turtle farms, diving & more

showing them the incredible world under the sea that we get to explore

I couldn't imagine spending my summers another way!

Kids Sea Camp has taught me:

that I want to spend my life working with children,

teaching them different ways to live their lives, 

that traveling is one of the most important things you can ever do,

meeting people and experiencing cultures is invaluable,

family vacations are still cool as you transition from childhood into adulthood, 

divers come from around the world to these beautiful islands, 

and they all have the best stories to share about the world. 

Turtles, sting rays, manta rays, eagle rays

hammer heads, reef sharks, bull sharks

ship wrecks, plane wrecks

barracuda, countless fish & endless coral reefs 

I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life exploring the rest of the ocean!